5/06/2009
noone but me from URL @ 8:54 PM
Wouldn't you rather be a widow, then a divorcee?
Style your wake, for fashion magazines.
Go bother, if you bother.
I am so tired of all this shit that i've been putting up with, enduring, brushing off, tolerating. Whatever you call it, it's all the same thing at the end of the day, and i am just very very, tired. I get so tired of being put in a spot, expected to choose, expected to understand exactly how the 2 of you feel, expected to know exactly what the two of you are thinking and do exactly what the two of you think are right things, when hello wth, you two think so damn differently. I hate the way the two of you keep saying the worst things about the other as though it would mean nothing to us, when it makes me so damn mad i could burst. I burst. I cry till i freaking cannot speak and you don't stop do you? The two of you don't stop. You never stop. I dont understand why they call it a divorce when the two of you never stop. It has been, is always, and is always going to be the two of you; neither physically or emotionally together, but it's freaking worse because you take the separation out on us. How do i know who's right, right? I am only 18, dammit. I'm too young to know what's right, but i'm old enough to know what i'm supposed to do? no i dont get it. I don't get it, and i am so very awfully tired of trying to. I could burst. I physically feel that i could burst. But i suck it up cos i dont have the time for being an emotional wreck. I am sarahj, i am strong like that. & I am sarahj and my life is screwed up like that. Come on friends, ask me. When was the last time i didn't cry once on a special occasion like bday/xmas/new year, in at least a year?Thanks for making my 18th a blast too. I am seriously, extremely, tired.
When i fight with my father, i never say bye when we leave; and then i spend the next few days till i talk to him worrying if he got home alright.
i hope that my brother gets into a jc, so that i can ciao off. I dont know what i want to do, but i do not want to do it here. i dont have money, so i want a scholarship. yes adlin, im like you. i run away. screw you who think you're big enough to deal.
I am okay, really really. I mean, its nothing new. Im just extraordinarily tired, bluekkzzz.
It'd be in vain if i were to say don't judge me. But well, your call; i'm not at your mercy anyway.
I predict that i'll delete this post sooner or later. I needed my blog to serve a purpose, just this once.
I want to do something just because i can.
5/5- Happy 19th Dev!
6/5- Happy 18th GC!
we don't fight fair.
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